The Selfish Hours

I’ve spent over 40 years showing up for other people’s schedules.

Thirty five years in the Canadian Armed Forces, and after that, a few more as a civilian working for the Defence Team. That’s a long time of my days and hours belonging to something else; a job, an institution, a mission that was bigger than me. I don’t for one second regret it. but it also meant I spent a long time putting myself last on the list of priorities, if I was on the list at all.

Next week, that changes. I’m stepping away from work, and I’ve been thinking a lot about what comes next. Not in the vague, Pinterest board way people talk about retirement, but in a real, practical, “what do I actually do with my Tuesday” way.

Here’s what I’ve decided. I’m going to be selfish with this time and savour every minute of it. Not selfish in the way that hurts anyone, but selfish in the way that finally gives me something back that has been missing for a long time. That’s where the name of this blog comes from. The Selfish Hours is a promise to myself that this time is mine and I will not apologize for spending them on things that heal and nurture me instead of things that are useful to others. Oh sure, eventually I will probably end up volunteering to do something I enjoy, but for now, this time is all MINE!

So what will this time actually look like?

Three days a week in the gym lifting heavy – Partly for the plain enjoyment of it, and partly because I now have osteopenia and building strong bones matter more to me know than it ever did.

Walking – for cardio and just to be outside and moving my body after spending years chained to my desk.

Stretching – because mobility is something I want to hang onto, not lose.

Gardening – an hour or two most days in the garden puttering – which is really the only word for what I do.

Reading – which I have always loved and rarely had the unhurried time for. My TBR list on Goodreads is LOOONNNG.

And alongside all of that, watching the critters I have managed to attract to our backyard. We have feeders and birdhouses up since moving to our acreage about 4 years ago. This yard has become its own small story. From the box of tree swallow babies that just fledged, to the three hummingbirds who have clearly decided that this yard belongs to them. Not to be outdone, there is a crow couple that shows up every morning like clockwork for their peanuts. I’ll be writing about them all, because honestly, they are some of the best entertainment I get all day.

This blog is going to be a mix of it all – the garden, the birds, the books, the training, and whatever else I pick up along the way. Part of the journey will be exploring new things and finding what I love to do. This will be a journal that happens to be public, more than a project designed for an audience. I will write whether anyone reads it or not. If some of it resonates with you or if you are figuring out your own version of what do do with hours that are finally your own, I’m glad you are here. And if it doesn’t resonate with anyone else, thats alright too….it means something to me, and that was always the point.

Thanks for stopping by.